Mrs. Furkey’s Tofurky

It’s almost TurkeyDay and in honor of those ugly bastards (I’m sorry, vegan or not, I still think those are fugly animals), I am going to tell you something new about me. If you already know this, well it’s because you’re not just my internet friend, so shut it. For those that don’t know, the big news is that my last name is Furkey. You’re probably like, “uh, so what?” Well, I hesitate to write my last name in a public forum where I share my thoughts because there are not many Furkeys in the world (in fact, according to this site, I am the only Allison with that last name in the whole country).  So basically anything online pertaining to that name almost certainly has to do with me. Unless there are people out there stealing my identity, which nowadays I suppose is also possible.

ANYway, unless you don’t have any innate rhyming capabilities you’ve probably already figured out why I’m bringing this up now. Yes, Furkey rhymes perfectly with turkey. Actually, it practically IS turkey. Oh, my grammar school days were so fun! Especially in November. My poor mother actually teaches first grade with that last name. Can you imagine? Luckily she’s a smart bird and she has a deal with the kids that they are only allowed to call her Mrs. Furkey-Turkey during the month of November. She even has a giant cloth Turkey she puts up that says Mrs. Furkey’s Thankful Turkey on it. So, the children get it all out of their system in those four weeks and my mother keeps her sanity for the rest of the year.

p_tofurkyfeasts_allWhat obviously makes my name even more hilarious (who knew it was possible?) is the fact that I am now a vegan and what do I have to buy for Thanksgiving dinner this year? Why, a Tofurky of course! A food that basically has my last name IN it! To be honest, I’m a little wary about the Tofurky. Possibly because it has my name in it but also possibly because it’ll be my first Thanksgiving without a real turkey. Can it measure up or will my mouth water all day for the real bird in the pot? (Just keep thinking rotting bird flesh, right?)

My mom is really trying to make this Thanksgiving as vegan as possible for me though. Granted there will only be 3 of us at our family Thanksgiving so making people happy is a little easier, but she’s making the mashed potatoes with soy milk and vegan butter and the stuffing with vegetable broth. Of course, then she said she had this great recipe for a stuffed turkey breast where you cook the stuffing inside the turkey breast in a bag.  Thus leading to this conversation:

Me: So are you going to leave some of the stuffing out of the turkey?
Mom: (silence on the phone) Wait, why?
Me: Um because if you make vegan stuffing and shove it in a turkey carcass to cook, it kind of defeats the purpose.
Mom: Ohhhhh. HAHAHAHAHA. Excellent point.
Mom: Give your poor mom a break, she’s still getting used to all this vegan stuff!

And of course I did and of course she left me my own little dish of stuffing.  I know I’ve said it here before, but I love my mom. Hilarious.

So, this year some of the Furkeys will eat turkey and some will eat tofurky, and once again they’ll all be thankful when November is over.


~ by Allison on November 18, 2008.

4 Responses to “Mrs. Furkey’s Tofurky”

  1. Did you get the email from Jasmine? Looks like we’ll be bartending together from 5-10 on the 4th 🙂 So I’ll definitely see you there!

    • Yes I did! That’s great! Have you ever bartended before? I definitely haven’t. haha. Should be interesting.

      • I haven’t bartended before either (other than making my own concoctions at parties with friends), but I’m assuming that we won’t really be making mixed drinks – rather just serving stuff like wine or beer.

        At least I hope that’s what we’re going to be serving :p

  2. […] to Farm Sanctuary’s Thanksgiving FOR the Turkeys in Orland, CA. Met Emily Deschanel! Had a Furkey Tofurky. (Yea, November was a good […]

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